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From Grief to Growth: 10 Key Lessons

My mom passed away in 2021. Sudden. A sheer shock. It was sepsis. I felt angry at the health system. The world should stop. It was during COVID. I flew home alone. Airport security sprayed me with disinfectant like an unwanted alien. Armed police officers checked up on me to ensure I didn’t leave my quarantine hotel room. I called and called just to visit my mom in the funeral home, alone.

 

Friends and family helped from outside the hotel. Calls, messages, online meetings—the “village” helped me plan her funeral. Released from quarantine, I was a mess. Young business, young family, healthy mom now gone. Stressed, I needed a rescue.

 

I started eating two bento boxes a meal, three times a day. At first, it didn’t seem like a problem. After all, I was under immense stress—financially, emotionally, socially, and business-wise. For three months, I had sheer brain fog. Couldn’t remember how I lived each day. Thought my business would collapse. As the founder, I couldn’t function. My mind was in limbo.

Meals? Fried chicken, pizza, burgers, heavy starch like rice and noodles. I had an online grieving group. Kind people, grieving like me. I told them overeating wasn’t a problem because we were grieving. Soul grieving, body followed. Restocked my wardrobe because my old outfits were too small. Accept the new normal, right?

One day, struggling to buy new clothes, something dawned on me. Maybe it didn’t have to be this way. Maybe I could be leaner instead of bigger. What would Mom have said? I contacted a doctor to switch up my diet. Took her lessons, made an appointment, checked my vitals. The reboot process was scarier in my head than in reality. I stressed about switching to a monitored diet, especially with constant travel for work. But the doctor’s team worked like a coach. Whenever I had a question, some well-trained clinical staff was there to answer. There was a community. I didn’t always participate, but I always read the stories on our social forum. Gradually, I saw results. Cut 13 lbs of body fat, gained lean muscle, felt better. Much better.

 

Seeing progress, I thought about working with an exercise trainer for more “return on investment”. After all, knowing about good health habits is one thing; doing them and having someone watch you do them is a whole new level. Maybe, just like the diet plan, some magic would happen.

 

I’m all for affordable options. So, I started online with a virtual trainer. She taught me how to understand food portions and choices and the importance of mind-muscle connections - Be present with your body, even when sweating hard at the gym. Seeing my “returns” improve, I wondered if a onsite trainer would yield even better results. I leveraged my local gym, layered with social media search, and found one. The outcomes were phenomenal. Layering incremental success produced better outcomes each time.

Most of my life wasn’t about coaching. Didn’t think much of it. But thanks to these coaches, I can now operate on my own. Feel stronger and better. Physical health ties to business performance. It's not muscle mass or knowledge I was gaining, it's clarity and confidence, vital for small businesses when things are unsure, and you are the one calling the shots. Believe me, I know the power and stress. It's lonely. But that’s the route we chose. So get up and get this done.

My kid’s PBS channel had a character that said, "If you see it, you can be it." I was listening to a podcast with hosts armed with seemingly limitless resources. As small business owners, we “see” them and want to be one of them. From where we are to where we want to be, we need a long-term horizon and small steps, installed by regular coaching sessions. Before we know it, we will be packing in muscles and more business success.

10 Things That Helped Me Transitioned from Grieving to Growth:

1. Acknowledge Your Grief and Stress

2. Seek Professional Support

3. Adopt a Healthier Diet

4. Engage in Regular Physical Activity

5. Find an Accountability Partner

6. Set Realistic Goals - Take Baby Steps

7. Establish a Routine

8. Practice Mindfulness, Even at a Loud-Music Gym

9. Invest in Personal Development

10. Monitor Your Progress

 

Cheers to health and hustle,

Yi-an



About the Author:

Trained as a communication scientist and worked as a simultaneous interpreter, Yi-an is passionate about unlocking human potential through better health and better care. Follow along for more insights on health, leadership, and behavior change.